Things people say that I don’t really like:

One of all – Picture a situation where you’re talking to your friend (a pretty good-looking guy) about a date that he went on last night. You gave him a bunch of grief yesterday afternoon before the date but it was mostly just because you were jealous. (I like it how the wording that I’ve used so far is such that the person picturing this situation could be either a guy or a girl.)

So that’s last night. He went on the date and you have no idea how it went at this point. He comes waltzing into the office where you both work and he appears to have a pretty big smile on his face (he probably held her hand or something exciting like that). You then proceed to ask him, “so? How was it?’ He then responds with the first thing which people say that I don’t really like. He says simply “It went good.” ….what a disgustingly horrible sentence.

I often find myself getting annoyed with an improper use of the word “good” (as opposed to “well”). However, I realize that it is simply the way that people speak in this part of the country. This simple sentence though is just an offense that I cannot ignore. It drives me nuts.

Think about it. If you would just say “It went WELL”, then you would be using an adverb. To iterate how correct this part of speech is in this situation, I will exchange “well” out for other adverbs and the sentence will still make sense. How about “It went wonderfully”? Or how about “It went swimmingly”? Both of those make sense.

On the other hand, it we think about the “sentence” that was used in this situation (It went GOOD), then we are talking about using an adjective when we should have used an adverb. To clarify how incorrect this is, I will replace it with a couple other adjectives to illustrate how poor the grammar is: How about “It went happy”? Or, “It went fun”?

I feel like I’ve just done two things. The first is that I have been THAT GUY who get’s annoyingly picky about grammar. The second is that I’ve opened myself up in a major way for grammar critiques of this blog post. However, I do not welcome these critiques. I am pointing out what I believe is a GROSS offense to the rules of grammar. However, I am currently writing simple prose and, as such, am not trying to hold myself to the standards of perfect grammar here. So just don’t do it. Fight that urge.

Two of all – Picture another situation. Pretend that you and all of your same-city friends decide to throw an awesome party for Halloween. Everybody dresses up in pretty sick costumes. At some point, the people on the dance floor (middle of the living room cleared out) include the following (names are fictional): John dressed up as a plastic yellow bat, Lizzy dressed up as a penguin, Joe dressed up as a very busty woman, Libby dressed up as a lobster, and Warren dressed up as a bag of jelly beans. While these four are dancing, someone decides to whip out a camera and take a picture of them all. In the snapshot, the busty woman (Joe) is beating the penguin (lizzy) with the yellow bat (john) and the bag of jelly beans (warren) is eating itself. In the background, you can see the lobster (libby) laying on a plate in the middle of the kitchen table.

Honestly, the picture turns out to be pretty hilarious. Obviously, it ends up getting posted on facebook. Immediately, the commenting ensues. The first to the scene is John who basically comments, “Oh my gosh Libby, I thought you said you were never going to do that!” Next comes Rachel who simply says “Oh Christian. LOL” (nobody really knows why) Then comes the one who I hate.

The next person to comment is the annoying one. “Melody” gets on and posts the following statement: “I just literally LOL’ed when I saw this!” **SHUDDER** ugh and bleh! I hate the implications of that statement.

The first reason I hate it is that it basically calls everyone who has previously commented with an “LOL” or a “haha” a liar. It’s like this person is saying that, while everyone else said that they laughed out loud, this person actually did it (literally).

The second reason that I hate it is just simply because the person added an “E-D” to an acronym. I am not even going to explain why I hate that. I feel like it should be clear that this is annoying.

OK, I’m going to go to bed. I feel like I could keep going with talking about more things people say that I hate but I think I just realized that this is a semi-worthless blog post. Thus, I’m going to just drop it here and head to sleep. I have to work tomorrow anyways and it’s late.

Gosh, next time I’m going to write about music. I don’t even care if you read it but I’m ready to over-analyze some songs. Just trying to prepare you.

Peace.